Final Paper

Final Exam: Self-Assessment Paper

Dear Banjar,

This semester has truly been a positive irreplaceable experience that I never would have undergone if not for William & Mary’s liberal arts education structure. My journey in this class began when I decided taking a dance class would be the easiest, most interesting way to fulfill my creative or performing arts credit. Also, I know I’ve mentioned a couple times that when in Tanzania I was taught some Maasai dancing by some locals; although reluctant at first, I really like learning new forms of dancing, and I sought to replicate this initial experience. The first day of the class, however, completely changed my expectations. I had no idea we were going to be performing a scene from The Ramayana or that oral communication and building a community was so important to the foundations of the class. This made for an unexpected pleasant surprise.
I’ve always been extremely self-conscious about my ability to dance. Even when in a casual dancing situation I’ve never felt comfortable moving in front of other people. The journey of ICAPS was not only about using my body as a mode of expression, but as a means of gaining self-confidence. The setup of the banjar with its emphasis on community building has made it a really secure environment for trying new things. I never felt ashamed having to align myself behind someone who could dance, and I’d like to thank everyone in the banjar that put up with that. Throughout the semester, it became apparent that our dancing was not just for the purpose of performing a set of memorized movements for others’ enjoyment, but was really about the inner enjoyment one gains from using one’s body as a mode of expression. I’ve grown in my ability to think creatively and compose my own movements as an art form. The best example of this came when we passed around the ball of energy and had to compose a scene that represented Sita’s inner energy. My expanding mind was able to take movements from the schema that I had developed from our lessons in Bharatanatyam and develop my own interpretation of Sita’s inner power. We did similar things on several occasions including the epic monkey battle day and the pauper, servant, noblemen day; I liked those days the best.
The composition of our final scene was, most decidedly, a lesson in compromise and teamwork. We had to work together to pick a scene that was both entertaining and dynamic for our audience while at the same time playing upon the talents of people in our group. I felt we really needed to have a scene in it with Ravana, because Ellie did such a great job getting into the mind of Ravana with her movements and facial expressions. We also had Kalyani’s directive genius to help us with choreographing our scene. I felt that she successfully integrated our acting with the Bharatanatyam dancing. For example, in the final minutes of our scene we used the taka dimi steps to allow the beggars to move around Sita’s protective circle. Another case of successful integration and creativity was our work to make the sounds of our scene fit in with the mood and tempo of the movements. For me, the day where we worked out all the sounds in our scene was one of the most productive. I had the hardest time understanding the placement of the sound “gong” in the beat keeping of the chants, and it took us forever to get the sounds correct.
There were times this semester where I was really frustrated with the happenings of the class. In the final weeks of the semester, we were working extremely hard to put the final touches on our final scene. I felt a true sense of loss and disappointment when many members of our group were absent multiple times. Sometimes, I felt like people weren’t as driven or enthusiastic about our scene, but not only did it hurt that individual, but it hurt the entire group. It was really frustrating trying to plan a scene when not all the characters were there and catch people up on the things that they had missed. I was also a bit aggravated when the non-international dance showcase banjar did not produce their scene for our final performance at Berkley Middle School. I know time constraints played a large role in their decision not to perform that scene, but I feel like half our class was robbed of the opportunity to perform a scene of their creation. I would have liked to have presented a longer presentation to the middle school kids, so they could have gotten a larger taste of the Chuck Chuck circle and the story of The Ramayana.
I’m really proud of our performances this semester. I approached each performance as an opportunity to not only showcase our banjar’s talent, but as a way to have fun. Particularly at the International Dance Showcase, I felt nervous and unprepared. Once we got on stage, however, it all flowed, and I was able to move with grace and poise. I felt our performance at Berkley Middle School was even better than our first performance. Our International Dance Showcase banjar did a great job of quickly integrating the other banjar into our scene quickly and effectively. I felt that the middle kids were really enthusiastic and open the banjar lessons that we had to teach them. We displayed a real sense of group cohesion at that last performance, and the artwork we created was truly magnificent.
From taking this class, I feel that I’ve really grown in my ability to understand how the interconnected movements of my body are an art form. Sound, the angles and one’s appendages, and rhythm of movement are all important in making each performance a unique piece of art. My self-confidence and self-consciousness of dancing have improved, making me more likely to pursue future opportunities in performances. Without the lessons we learned in our banjar, I never would have had the courage or the skills to play the harem leader in one of our classes or volunteer to play one of the beggars in our final scene’s performance. Taking these roles were huge steps for me, and I’m really glad this class gave me the opportunity to pursue them. I’ve learned of the difficulty of choreographing; interconnecting the right movements with the right sounds takes time, creativity, and practice. Once you have accomplished this, which I think I have, you can say that you’ve developed your own unique sense of style in dance.
In conclusion, I’d like to thank the banjar for giving me a non-judgmental body to learn and experiment. I’ve never had a class where all the students were so friendly and receptive inside and outside the classroom, and I’m so happy that we were all able to learn something in our engaging shared experience. You all have given me the ability to appreciate the smallest of movements as thought-provoking, and I will truly miss our time together. This experience can never be repeated and I appreciate that.

Peace and Love,

Amanda

Absences

-9/24/08: Severe back pain and a trip to the doctor’s office to get a muscle relaxer
-10/8/08: Left Early for Fall Break
-11/17/08: Took my cousin, a prospective W&M student, back to the airport.